Allow the cream cheese and sharp white cheddar to soften at room temperature for 30 to 60 minutes.

In a mixing bowl, combine the softened cream cheese, sharp white cheddar, and ranch seasoning. Beat until smooth and creamy, about 2 to 3 minutes.

Divide the mixture into two portions: one third for the brim and two thirds for the hat. Shape the smaller portion into a disc for the brim and the larger into a cone for the hat.

Wrap both portions tightly in plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 4 hours or overnight.

Once chilled, unwrap and coat the cone shape with poppy seeds, ensuring full coverage.

Assemble by placing the cone atop the disc to form the complete witch hat. Garnish with parsley or chives if desired.